11: How to Embrace Emotions as Guides for Growth

In today's episode, Cassie dives into the powerful topic of embracing our emotions instead of resisting them. She shares a personal story of jealousy and the insights it brought to light, guiding listeners to see emotions as messengers and teachers. Through the wisdom of Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki, Donna Ashworth, and Rumi, Cassie illustrates how we can welcome emotions like guests, allowing them to guide us through life's growth opportunities. Tune in to hear how releasing resistance to your emotions can create more space for love, clarity, and personal evolution.

Sign up for her free virtual event mentioned in today's show: wholebeingjourney.com/sacred

Transcript

S1:E11 How to Embrace your Emotions as Guides for Growth

You didn't come here to simply survive. You came here to thrive.  To reconnect and to remember who you truly are. 

 Welcome to the Return to Her podcast, where we uncover the knowledge that empowers us and discover the wisdom that's always been inside! Here, we blend spiritual insights modern psychology, and embodied wellness practices to help us realign all aspects of our being, body, mind, and soul. This is where science meets spirituality and true wellness becomes our way of life. 

I'm Cassie Dalton, yoga teacher, energy worker, holistic coach, and intuitive guide. While I'm still walking my own wellness and spiritual path, my mission now is to walk beside you as you return home to your most authentic and empowered self. Now is the time to return to her. 

The content shared in this podcast is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a qualified professional for any personal health or wellness concerns. 

All right, now let's dive in to today's episode. 

Welcome back in everybody. Uh, in last week's episode, we were talking about the importance of letting our emotions flow freely rather than trying to push them away. And today I want to dive a little bit deeper into that and share some beautiful wisdom that complements what we were discussing.

But before we jump in, let me just ask you this, have you ever felt like you were trying to shove an emotion away? Only for it to show up again, maybe in a different form, in a different scenario, maybe even in a bigger way. It's kind of like trying to ignore a feeling that wants to be felt, only for it to find another way to get your attention.

It's funny how that works, right? So I have an example that has been coming up for me. over the past couple of weeks and it is that really pesky emotion that we call jealousy. And because I'm a human, as far as I can tell, I still have emotions and this one has always been here for me. Uh, I think that we go back just as far as I can remember, honestly.

. And because I said like I'm human, My little ego self. She's here. And and she keeps this one going for me and I have to remind myself to practice what I preach So yeah, jealousy has been showing up in several different places these last few weeks 

so I have a friend, she opened a yoga studio recently and I was, I still am so freaking excited for her. I'm so proud of her and honestly, I'm a little bit jealous and it's weird because I don't feel jealous like this is what I want for me. I just feel jealous that she's got a yoga studio I don't know if any of you even know this but I was going to open my own yoga studio back in I shit you not March 2020 Uh, I think it was march 21st was the day that was going to be my grand opening And when it came around time for what my grand opening would have been.

That was a few days after the shutdown happened in the United States. Anyway, in January of 2020, I was actually ready to sign the lease. , the landlord had drawn up the documents and as I was, about to go and meet him to sign this paperwork, I had a little Nudge, a little whisper from my intuition.

My higher self, I guess, as I call her and She said just wait until after you get back from India So this was the time I was I was getting ready in January to go on my first trip to India Which I think was about three weeks that I was in India And anyway, my intuition said don't sign it before you go wait until after you get back.

So I went, I had planned that as soon as I got back I was going to meet with the landlord, we were going to get everything signed, and I was going to Get started renovating the inside of this space so that I could open in March. And I was even on the plane, um, the long ride from New York to Mumbai. I had my journal.

I had everything written down. I was planning this, that, and the other thing. So ready to come back home and get to work on this. And then when I was in India And if you guys heard my origin story, you remember, when I went to India, I met my spiritual teacher. I, I didn't go seeking a, a new teacher, but that's what found me.

And because the energy in India is so so different. It is, it's like just another world stepping into, especially if you're an energy person like I am. , I had such crystal clear clarity when I was in India that I knew I could have this yoga studio if I wanted it, but then I realized I don't actually want it.

And that was hard to accept, honestly, when, when I had that moment of recognition because I had planned for this, this was the next step in my evolution as a yoga teacher, , but anyway, I, I just remember having this clarity of like, yeah. I know I can have it if I want it, but I don't actually want it.

So, when I was on my flight back home, , my layover in Italy, I actually texted my husband and I told him, please just call the landlord, tell him it's off, I don't want to do it. I would rather focus on my, meditation, my development of my spiritual gifts. I want to go in that direction. I don't want to be weighed down by a yoga studio.

So I had my husband do my dirty work and he called the landlord and got me Out of the agreement, basically, and I never spoke to that guy again. And I just knew that that wasn't my path. That wasn't actually what I wanted to do. And I am so thankful. Honestly, that's one of the points that me and my husband laugh about often.

Just the timing of that and so thankful that I got that clarity. Because good lord, what had happened right after I got back from India when all of the COVID stuff started to, to really propagate and then the shutdown happened a few days before what would have been my grand opening. I can't believe that I got out of that and didn't end up getting saddled with having a studio.

Without having any students, um, Anyway, the timing was pretty cool. That wasn't the point of the story. So the whole point of this was I had an opportunity to have a studio and I knew I didn't actually want to follow through on that. So my jealousy for my friend doesn't make any sense. Why would I want What she has I already chose a different path.

I had the option and I went another way so I kind of Just thought uh, this is stupid I don't need to feel jealous of her basically, 

 I was talking myself out of the emotion that I was experiencing, which was a way of resisting it, like we talked about last week, what you resist persists, and that's true.

I was telling it it wasn't welcome, so it decided to hang on. And show up in other ways. Uh, a few weeks ago, the same friend who, gosh, again, I'm so proud of, she asked me if I wanted to come and be a teacher at her studio. And, honestly, I was flattered. I was like, oh, that's really cool. But, I'm also teaching 10 classes a week of my own.

I'm trying to start my own. online yoga program, , as well as doing this podcast and about a million other things. So, really when I sat with that for a moment, I, I told her, no, I would love to help her and I was really appreciative that she thought of me, but I simply just can't invest my energy into teaching for someone else to build their dream when I know that there are things that God has written on my heart to do.

And I need to really focus my energy. And those things instead. Uh, so I told her, no thank you. And then, I've seen recently on Instagram that she hired this really awesome teacher to come in and guess what? When I saw this, my jealousy came back. I was jealous of that teacher for getting that job that I already said I didn't want.

I was jealous of her credentials because she looked like a really awesome teacher. She was beautiful, she was this, she was that, whatever. And I'm like, what in the actual F am I actually jealous about here? Because I'm an awesome teacher. I'm an E R Y T 500, as my ego likes to shout out to anyone who's listening.

See? Even how I did it there. And I'm not that bad to look at myself. I didn't even want the freaking job. So why am I jealous of this girl? And guess what I was doing? I was again, talking myself out of the emotional experience I was having. I was pushing it away, saying it wasn't worthy of my time.

It didn't need to be here. So, get out. And, again. It showed up a few days ago, this straw that broke the camel's back on this, this recognition, I guess. , I was looking at a group chat with my spiritual community, and my teachers are doing this program this week, and someone had posted something about the program in the chat, and I realized, um, I think I realized, I'm not actually 100 percent sure, that this person is helping my teachers Organize the program, post announcements, things like that, whatever.

And that's what I actually used to do for quite a while up until recently When I started pulling my energy back so that I could focus on creating this podcast and expanding my business offerings I spent a lot of time helping them and it made me feel really good. Like oh, I'm doing all this Seva But, I couldn't do it anymore, so I had to, a few months ago, say no, I can't help you on this, no, I can't help you on that, and they just stopped asking me, and clearly, I guess as life goes, they moved on, and someone else was able to step up and help, and now I'm jealous of this really precious, super helpful person, because she stepped up to help when I didn't even want to anymore, and I finally realized, like, okay, I'm This emotion keeps coming up.

What is going on here? So, I finally sat down with it and I did the practice that I told you guys to do. Okay, so I'm breathing. I'm allowing myself to sit and just be for a moment, recognizing jealousy is moving through me right now, asking it, what is it here to show me? And When I did that, I, I felt it, I can even feel it again now, moving from my stomach and into my chest, kind of feeling tight, a little bit squeezy.

So I put my hands on my heart. I told myself I was safe to feel. I could allow this and then it moved up into my throat, you know, how it feels when you're trying to hold back that squeeze, when you're trying to keep yourself from crying. 

I felt it move up into my eyes, a few little tears, stung. And then as I'm sitting here, experiencing this emotion moving through me, she showed me that I'm still holding on to a belief that I thought I had released.

The belief that I'm not good enough, that people are going to love someone else more than they love me because they're better than me. They're going to like someone else more than they like me. They're going to realize the truth that I'm not really good enough and they're going to stop loving me. That I have to prove myself in order to be worthy of love.

And even as I'm saying it now, I know that that's not true and I've done a lot of work on, on myself. I, I know that I am worthy of love. I know that I am love. ? How could I not be worthy of something that I already am? That doesn't make any sense. However, This is my ego self holding on to and perpetuating this belief because it was such a big part of my story for my entire life up to this point.

And of course, you know, like I said before, when, when the mind wants to find evidence for something, it'll find evidence for something. So as the ego is holding on to this belief, it uses these examples that I've mentioned in this show so far. To show me how it's true, how all these things that I said are true.

But when I finally took the time to feel the emotion, to really sit with it, to let myself feel it and feel the energy moving through my body, and to let it teach me where I was still holding on to something that was no longer serving who I am now, the emotion was like a flashlight. Kind of shining into a dark corner of my mind.

And now that that has been illuminated, I can work with it. I can realize, yeah, that's still there. It's still something that I have an opportunity to work with. So I'm actually thankful that jealousy kept showing up in these examples these past few weeks because it gave me an opportunity to see something that I had been blind to.

And I'm going to take that as a win. So hopefully through hearing this story, , there might be something coming up to your mind. Maybe something that you've been pushing away or , talking yourself out of. Maybe it's time to sit with it and see what it can teach you.

And I just really wanted to give you guys that example because I'm doing this work too. We're all in it together. And today I wanted to explore. the topic of honoring, allowing these emotions, instead of resisting them, trying to push them away or talk ourselves out of them. From a different approach. So we're going to draw some inspiration today. from the lines of some different sages and poets and hear what they had to say let's start by looking at a quote from Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki.

And this quote , I saw it actually a few weeks ago on Facebook. And I remember I took a screenshot of it. Because I thought, oh wow, this is brilliant. I'm going to use that somewhere. And here it is showing up now. So this, this quote really captures the essence of what we've been talking about. Leave your front door and your back door open.

Allow your thoughts, to come and go. Just don't serve them tea. This simple yet powerful quote reminds us that emotions, just like thoughts, are transient. They come and go like visitors. Just like opening a door to let them in, we don't need to invite them to stay any longer than they need to.

And that's the key. Let them come in, acknowledge them, and then let them leave when they're ready. Let's shift gears now into this beautiful poem I found by Donna Ashworth. A lot of her poetry is read in yoga classes, so you might be familiar with this one, or you might be familiar with her in general.

 This one is called, Hosting Sad. And it really speaks to the idea of accepting emotions.

Sometimes I wake up sad, for no reason, and I know as soon as my eyes open that today, I am sad. I can choose positive thoughts, have a cold shower, run on the treadmill, but I will still be sad. And counting my blessings on days like this makes me even more sad. How lucky I am and how tenuous that is. How others are not so blessed and how unfair that is.

And I've learned to accept these little bouts of sad or soul flu, as I have come now to call them. They are not within my control. This I know. I don't fear them anymore. They can't harm me because I don't become them. I just let my sad in the door and say, hey, how are you? Take a seat. But don't stay too long, please, I have things to do.

And I rumble along in my mental kitchen, making tea, emptying the dishwasher, and my sad sits there and just exists, without judgment or acrimony, just acceptance. I know she is many things, you see, other than just sad. She is love. She is grief. She is fear. She is weariness and worry. And really, she puts up with rather a lot in this life.

So I give her a cup of tea and listen to her sorrows until she's ready to go back outside again. Sometimes I wake up and sad has already let herself in. But I don't scold her for that. She'll go soon. And really, she deserves a warm place every now and again. This world gives her much to bear.

Sometimes I wake up sad. For no reason and that's okay.

 Oh, this poem gives me chills So her words here, they just capture so beautifully What it means to allow sadness or any emotion really into our lives without that fear or resistance She reminds us that our emotions don't define us Because we don't become them, instead they're just visitors here for a while teaching us something or giving us a moment to pause.

And just like any guest, they'll leave eventually when they're ready. And here's a funny thing I noticed, you might have noticed it too. Toward the end of this poem, Ashworth talks about serving her sadness a cup of tea, whereas in the first quote that we read, it says not to serve them tea because you don't want the guests to stay too long.

So I thought that that was just kind of interesting, maybe not something to get hung up on, but as a point to understand in this poem, the serving of the tea, it was more of an act of acceptance, of surrender. Of recognizing that this emotional state is going to be here for as long as it's going to be here, regardless of what we do.

So, we might as well just sit with it and allow it to be. I also thought that line of serving it tea was really powerful because it's not only that she's surrendering and allowing it to be here, But she is intentionally holding space for the emotion with compassion because she recognizes that this part of her experience is really hard.

The weight of the world is a lot to bear and sadness holds that. So that she can remember at least like I'm thinking from our conversation last week that these heavier emotions, these heavier vibrations that we experience, they're here to provide a contrast for us so that we can reorient to love so that we can return.

To what it is that we really value and cherish. So her compassion for Sadness's Responsibility here. It's really touching to me. Again, I think this poem just shows us that the key Isn't to resist the emotional state that we find ourselves in sometimes. It's to allow it without judgment. Really to hold space for ourselves without judgment and eventually the emotion will go when it's ready.

So you need to maintain your faith in that surrender. And that's what makes the difference in how we experience these emotions. And this brings me to the final poem that I wanted to share with you. I'm sure many of you guys have heard this before. It's from Rumi, The Guest House. And it also speaks to the nature of emotions and how we can relate to them, how we can respond to them.

This being human is a guest house. Every morning, a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness. Some momentary awareness comes in as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all. Even if they're a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. . Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. And And while I love this whole poem and it echoes what we've already been talking about, this line really stands out to me.

Each has been sent as a guide from beyond. How powerful is that? What if our emotions actually are messengers? or guides that are sent to us by the divine or by our higher self, our soul, so that we can evolve, to help us release old patterns, or to open ourselves to new growth opportunities. Just like last week, and like I talked about earlier, when we're thinking about our emotions, they might just be here to tell us something that we're not aware of.

So, the idea that emotions are guides from beyond, that's just really beautiful to me. And it makes, at least to me, it, it helps me to deal with some of these heavy emotions. With a little bit more ease, a little bit more grace. And maybe these emotions, the difficult ones, are exactly what we need to move beyond the limitations that we have placed on ourselves through beliefs that we're ready to outgrow.

Um, maybe even if, like Rumi said, they're here to sweep your house violently of its furniture, allow it to happen. And that's difficult, I know, but there might be a gift in this for you when you finally have the courage to allow something to release that is not serving you anymore.

Even if it's scary, it might actually be pointing us in the direction of healing or offering a glimpse into those deeper parts of ourselves, our shadows. that we need to confront so that we can move forward. Each emotion that arises gives us an opportunity to return back to love, 

so the takeaway that I want to leave you all with, these conversations that we've had today and last week, It's not about bypassing our emotions or sweeping them under the rug or locking them away in a closet somewhere so that we can remain in the sense of false positivity, but instead it's about becoming that nonjudgmental witness that can show up at the door laughing, opening the door and greeting these different emotional states that come in Allowing them to stay as long as they need to.

Observing what's going on from a place of non reactivity. Holding space for what's moving in, what is clearing out. And seeing every emotion, just like every feeling, just like every thought. As a teacher or a messenger, that's here to help us learn just a little bit more about ourselves. What we value. And what we might be ready to release or shift because it's no longer serving the version of us that we're stepping into.

 As we wrap up today's episode on this really powerful topic. Thank you for sticking with me through this. Just remember that allowing all of your emotions, both the heavy and the light. It's about giving yourself space to return to your divine nature.

Every emotion is an opportunity to reconnect with and reorient toward love, both within and around you. When we stop resisting, We create more room for the clarity, for the compassion, for the joy that will follow once these emotions move through. So, thank you so much for taking this time to hang out with me today.

It was a lot of fun, at least for me, because I really love this stuff. I love anything that has to do with spirituality or energy or well being. Uh, of course going back and reading some poems, that was always something that I enjoyed doing as well. So thanks for giving me that opportunity. And always remember, you don't have to be anything other than who you are, emotions and all.

You're already whole, and you already have everything you need within you. Let's keep coming home to ourselves. Let's keep coming home to love and I will see you next time when we return to her. Before we close today's episode though, I do have something special to share. I'm really excited about it actually.

If you've liked this episode, if you've resonated with the energy of this podcast in general, I think that you're really gonna love what's coming next. I am inviting you to a free Live on Zoom, Sacred Session on Saturday, March 22nd at 11 a. m. Eastern Daylight Time. And this is where we're going to do a little breathwork practice, probably a reading, and a guided meditation designed to help you release stuck emotions.

Remember, emotions are energy in motion, and if we don't allow them to move. through us, that energy gets stuck and stagnant like murky water that just funks everything up. So this, meditation practice that we're going to do is going to help clear some of that stickiness out. I'm really excited because I know that it's going to be really powerful.

Every time I do this particular meditation, actually it, it blows me away at how instantly clearing it is. But anyway, this is just a sneak peek into my Sacred Sessions membership that I'm launching soon. And I can't wait to see who feels called to join me. We'll spend probably about 30 45 minutes together, but I'll stick around afterwards for any questions that you might have, whether it's about the Sacred Sessions or anything related to meditation or energy work, because you know I'm all about it.

So if you would like to attend, Let me see, what is the link? Oh, you can sign up at wholebeingjourney.com/sacred. I'll also put that in the show notes. So, with that said, thanks again, and I'll see you next time.

Namaste.

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Your contribution will help offset the time, energy, and costs of producing this show, which will be a win-win for everyone. And if you're ready to dive deeper into this healing work with me. Head on over to whole being journey.com to explore ways that we can work together. Thanks again for listening. And I'll see you all next week when we return to her.